IC Contact

[redheadedstepson]

Yo. Reno. You know what to do.

*BEEP*

Comments

[redheadedstepson]

[ Aw, you think he can do long division? That's so nice. Such faith in your friend! ]

c but i ttly no idiot is a term of endearment
:D
aww thnx man
<3
kisses ;x
u call me idiot feels like butterflies ;P

u feel better???
need to meet up 4 drinks or somethin?
whatever u need man
the mag was boring anyway

[pushpin]

no
i dont know why im here u dont help w/ anything
maybe thats why

[redheadedstepson]

sry man
i wanna help
i rly do
but u dont wanna talk n i dont wanna make it worse u no?
its a conundrum

jus do what i do sometime when i feel shitty
jus text
say whatever
hit enter before u change ur mind
just rush it out even if it dont make sense
could just b random words or even key smashin
nbvfgyujknbvg
u no like whatever

dumbapples fuckin
dicks chocobos n beans
fort condor was shit
20 gil aint shit dick
titties
pancakes
i fuckin love em

[pushpin]

god ur so stupid
this was a mistake bye reno

[redheadedstepson]

aw come on man!
wait wait dont
look im not good at this stuff ok

[ He texts hurriedly, feeling pretty shitty for no good reason to his mind. No one ever looks to him for any kind of advice, sounding board or anything else. It's probably the highest honor he's ever had and naturally, he's fucking it up by making a real attempt.

Fa~ntastic. ]

u want me 2 just sit here n not answer texts?
i can do that
u can just text me n i wont say anything so i dont fuck up
i dunno
u tell me when its ok 2 say somethin
ill jus listen
or read
whatever

[pushpin]

shut up i didnt even ask u for comfort or some shit i dont need it
all i said was hey
whats ur stupid magazine about

[redheadedstepson]

[ Okay okay, fuck. Calm your shit man. He'll stop asking. Pissbaby. Fuck. Why is he ever nice to your ass? ]

its like a shopping catalog with deets about the stores n stuff
weird customer review articles

this dildo they special made was exact to the specifications of my exboyfriends husbands donger crossed with a horsefish from planet boobityboop 10/10 will recommend

shit like that

but i bought it cuz its got stuff about restaurants n shit 2
n i got a list of places i been workin on that dont spike food
cuz i only wanna take ppl 2 u no
safe places or whatever

also a coupon for a store that sells cute panties n my size
that lacy shit is p nice man

[pushpin]

[...fucking ignores every part of this he doesn't care about]

there are restarants w/ clean food?

[redheadedstepson]

ya man
wait
you aint been 2 any???
o man im so sorry

ya i can forward my list 2 u if u want
actually hang on

ok there that should b the list n locations
sry its mostly fried food n beer joints since i only been lookin 4 other ppl recently
i got simple taste myself
but ya man its good places with opt ins so u get food without drugs
hth :)

[pushpin]

nah been cookin my own food
i know how to do that remember

mmm
thanks

[redheadedstepson]

prob a fuckton cheaper than how i live omfg >:(

back home everything is on a company card n discount
or rude made it

when i was a kid i couldnt afford anything either way
so never learned 2 cook
i would like 2
seems like a hobby worth a shit
n a survival skill

like what fuckin idiot cant make coffee right???

[pushpin]

apparently U, u fuckin idiot
idk start with hardboiled eggs
boiling water, 7 minutes
not hard

[redheadedstepson]

[ So...there's not different types of eggs? You have to make them like that?

Reno flat-eyes at his comm display. Of course he's not that stupid, but MGS sure treats him like he is sometimes. Can't the kid give him a little credit?

Although he didn't know about how to boil eggs and he does like them as a snack so that stays at the front of his mind for later. ]

uh ya bro i no thats what im sayin
ffs man

do i put the eggs n the water 2 boil or add them after its boiled???

[ Time to start an apartment fire. ]

[pushpin]

after
only put enough water in to cover the eggs or itll overflow when it boils though

[h o w]

[redheadedstepson]

[ He's just that fuckin' majestic. He's so hot, things catch fire around him.

At least that's the argument he's gonna use when the authorities get there.

He is making notes of what he's told, though. This seems like something he can do without someone hands-on guiding him through it. Of course now he's gotta go out and buy a tabletop burner and eggs and a pot. But whatever. It'll pay for itself eventually. ]

ok n im gonna assume dont put eggs on top of 1 another???
i eat a lot man
aint exactly ur human norm u no
metabolism like woah

so i gotta get a big pot if i want a lot? 2 spread them out?

u want some if they come out good? [ Because he's gonna be really fuckin' proud okay? ]

[pushpin]

.....just do like 3-4 at a time wtf
idk ive never made fuckin OODLES OF EGGS u might need to cook them longer

no i dont want any i can make my own goddamn eggs

[redheadedstepson]

y u gotta be so rude

[ Huff. ]

ok so just do a few at a time
got it
ffs this is gonna take forever 2 feed me
whatever i like boiled eggs

u ever had a chocobo omelette???
i wish i could get u n egg from a chocobo

[ He texts over a photo of himself and Rude on chocobos, Rude looking grim and deadpan, Reno wide-mouthed and probably screeching with excitement. ]

best fuckin eggs ever man

1/2

[pushpin]

[what the -- ]

[what the fuck]

[pushpin]

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

[redheadedstepson]

its a chocobo man
look

[ He sends over a few pictures from the Chocobo Ranch, massive birds running all about. He sends a fat black Chocobo chick picture as well. ]

i want 1 so bad
theyre so fuckin cute yo

[pushpin]

just 1 would make so much fucking fried chicken

[redheadedstepson]

u would think right?
but the meat isnt as good as chicken
theyre super tough obvz
the eggs r hella good though

if u want a lot of good meat u cook this

[ He texts over a slightly blurred photo of a Behemoth literally just smacking a motorbike into the air. Someone was running and snapping photos. Namely Reno. ]

its so thick n juicy omg
omfg im so hungry

[pushpin]

what
the fuck
is THAT

[redheadedstepson]

behemoth
real bitch man
real bitch
behemoth meat cost so much omfg

but its some of the best

way better than adamantaimai but not as like fancy as red dragon
beachplug sushi is good tho
o ya n hochu salad

[ Each thing mentioned gets a picture linked, from the giant turtle and literal red dragon to the massive nautilus and colorful plant monster. Then he sends a picture (from a reasonable distance) of a malboro. ]

do not eat these
dont even like come round them
they r scary fucks

[pushpin]

these are all scary fucks ?!
U HAVE THESE BACK HOME ?????